finding my happy place

hiddencries

It's been so long since I last played the violin. It has been keyboards, keyboards, keyboards recently. Trying to play the second half of Yiruma's River Flows In You. Still unsuccessful with that. Haha!

So I played the violin this afternoon. My arms hurt from holding it up, and my playing has gotten so rusty what came out were screeching sounds. Remedied that, though. It sounds better now. But I'm still a beginner, so I'm only playing simple pieces.

Later maybe I'll play the guitar. It's been a while since I played with that instrument, too. Have to strum. :)

On another note, I need a boylet, too. Hahaha! Christmas is just around the corner, which means I should feel the loneliness with more intensity. I need some loving on Christmas.

Or maybe not. I got through the past five Christmasses fine. This shouldn't be any different. 

hiddencries

The joy, supposedly, is in giving. So when the joy is gone, when the giving starts feeling more like a burden, that's when you stop. But if you're like most people I know, you give 'til it hurts. And then you give some more.

- Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy 6x10) 

im gonna hook up with at least two girls this weekend

quota

bc homos are hoes and i don't care about that definitely. forsure. :/

inggaygoingberserk

6-2 at work.

2-10 somewhere else...and i'm still hyped!

backspace

~ Sometimes that is the way you have to do it: you go right back to the beginning.~

Max- The Legend of 1900

Jesmin_25

I was reading her blog today... I cant say that i dont feel her pain...knowing the fact that she chose an idiot, selfish asshole ex of mine..She should have learn from my experienced. Cheater will always be a cheater, she should see it coming.... how can she think that a guy like him would really change for her... i know him too well..I was a stupid person too.. staying 6 years for a guy who i thought would change, but it didnt happen... When he broke up with me... Yes it was very hard, especially when i sacrificed so many things for him... i didnt eat, sleep well at night, constant drinking with friends, i couldnt even stand being at home with parents...but to think of it now.... what the heck was i thinking!!!! I dont know her well... heard some stuff about her, but a girl like her shouldnt stay with a complicated guy like him... Imagine that he dump her just because he is fucking bored... (excuse for the word) i dont understand that... it wasnt even a year when they had their romance behind my back... i mean... she should know better.... what he did to me... he could do it to her... now he has another ... what can she do? Nothing, but to let go, and learn from the pain....

my love life sucks. homos are hoes

la la la

lalalalala

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my north cemetery shoot did not go as how i expected it to be. one of the model did not arrive who was suppose to wear the bride's maid dress- which i don't really care as i'm having trouble as to how i'm going to incorporate the bride's maid in the theme that i conceptualize. instead, i asked jona as an extra- supposed to wear casual wear. i have 4 looks on my head, audrey hepburn, morticia addams and two 19th century chick. more than anything, i am more excited about this concept than the marriage theme litratoz guild organize, as it is more restricting and the only variation that i can get is movement and facial expression. 

argh! i was rooting for a high fashion editorial-ish...

but because of security constraints, we were compelled to shoot for only 2 hrs in n.cemetery, and as a result of it, the casual wear was put out of the scene and i cannot just enforce my own way as i am in a group.

another disappointment was the groom, he is too effeminate and something is quite wrong about his expression, like someone who is pissed off because of the impending marriage contrary to his preference, but still trying to keep a poker face. i wish i could have told him what was wrong, but then again, due to time contraints, the other 4 members shoot simultaneously as press my shutter. which leads me to the one-on-one shoot as planned... it never happen. again, due to constraints which is impossible given the time that we have. we also wasn't able to use the lightings because we don't have a lighting stand. the smoke machine which i'm most excited about was too lame, like someone just hitting a cigarette on the side of the model.

nonetheless, given all the rants, the experience was great. the members are very humble, which is re-assuring because there is no atmosphere intimidation. but the downside is, because most of us are newbies, this stopped us from making any comments for the betterment of the shoot. perhaps next time.

my shot's.

marrying peter pan

ramble: out of 68 shots, i've got only 8 decent shots.  comparred to 100++ and one 300++ shots the other member was able to take, it is quite depressing how come i've got only 68 shots.