omg! my crush just messaged me on facebook! we chatted for a bit! he's so cute. im kinda nervous to be around him though. i hope i make it good! errr...what to do.. what to do.. still got time to fix myself. damn i really need to diet. or maybe not. i dont know how to act around him. how!
someone just stood me up. should i get mad at him or just let it pass? anyway i dont really care about him.
i met someone..and we kinda clicked. but then i texted this guy i like..and i dont know why. and if he doesnt text me back then that means i should give this other guy a chance already. i just need a sign that he'd ignore me. so i can totally move on. i want to hear from him again. but if he doesnt then its all good. i shouldnt really care at all. this time i wont et hurt if he ignores me. im doing this merely for confirmation.
he texted me back though. and he said he was working. well, doesnt really bother me though. didnt rubbed it in anymore that i would want to see him. i just miss him. so yes its cool. no regrets and no worries.
i wonder if what he said was true. that i am merely a plastic person who just masks being happy to friends who dont know that i am a sad person and that i really fear of being alone. i also get bored easily and that i am lazy and scared of meeting people. i just have a very low confidence and i dont know how to make friends. what i only know best is to feel sorry for myself and dwell on life's sorrowful pleasure. i also like beating myself up and love it when people think highly of me. but i dont even know if i exist to them. i have no one. i think i have no one on my side to protect me.
I think i just need an inspiration. and i think i might be inspired....
still thinking of him. why do i have to suffer from this unrequited love thing that im having. i really miss him.
i still miss him. i wish we could spend another night together or even just to be together and have a good time but it seems like he's avoiding me already. ive been making effort to see him but he's always unavailable. he told me he liked me but i never admitted that i liked him too. i really like him too. if he does like me then why is he avoiding the chances of us seeing each other? is it because he is over and done with me and dont care about me now? is it because he already fucked me so he doesnt care about me now? :(
how can you tell if someone is a user or not?
the hit is not good. i want to do something and not sleep at all. i want to think. i want to analyze. i want him to say something. im waiting. waiting for nothing and it sucks. the game sucks. i hate texting him over and over and over again. im like a drug addict. what a way to boost ones ego. what a way to end the night. i shouldnt have. as usual.
its starting to come to a point when i dont think this pretending is not working anymore. i should just be myself...what am i gonna do?? and who am i gonna be with?!?
i really get shy with the guys that i like..i have to start flirting more. im just scared that i might lead them on if i entertain them so much....