mas makakabuti na rin siguro na mag isa na lang ako. tutal, nakasanayan ko nanaman mag isa. at masaya naman ang walang iniintindi. kesa sa may iintindihin pang iba. sigurado, masasaktan lang nanaman ako. mabuti pa nga na mag- isa na lang ako para ako na lang ang may pananagutan sa sarili ko at wala ng expectations sa iba. wala na ring makikialam sakin..mas mabuti na din ito.
i realized that the only thing that keeps me from feeling sad, lonely, anxious and disoriented is my- JOB.
whenever i get really busy, i feel a sense of empowerment. and with that i feel that there is still sense to live. and that someone can still make use of my existence.
somehow, it gives me the feeling that i am still needed.
I finally realized and justified to myself that I have a hard time expressing my feelings. I just can't say it. Im too proud to say it. I just am. When the timing is perfect and everything is just going on right. I blow it off. I hold back. I am scared to tell you..and this is just unfair to you and to the people who are not this way to me.
So, now I want to tell you.
I MISS YOU TOO.
it's not you. i just have a hard time expressing my true feelings..but i really do.
i miss you. and i just said it too late..
I try. I try my best to be nice to people. And I am tired. Why is it that I never seem to get treated the same way as how I treat them? Its just unfair and it makes me bitter that they get to be treated nicely while I get nothing. I never said nothing..always been very patient. I was always all smiles. Now, im tired and no one seems to understand me, nor feel me.. Its just unfair, really...
what is your call on online- dating?
is this even possible that two- people fall in love with each other just through as what they say:
"meeting of the minds?"
hmmmm...
Makes me think how much I suck at relationships. Now just when im giving it another shot..it just makes me remember all that had happen in the past..damn, I didn't know i will get this affected..Just when I thought that everything is turning out fine..it doesn't.
Maybe I ought not to try anymore..afterall, anything can happen. All these trying may just lead to rejection in the end..now, that, we don't really want to happen.
Two things may have caused myself to reflect on this
1. Is my being passive- aggressive
2. I guess, my inability to communicate well to the opposite sex or refer my message to them..
Oh well..i just can't wait for brighter days..
Or maybe just the ones who don't have any issues gets the best deal on love...
Ha, I did not just blame everything on me..that sure is lethal
I want to run from love..
I just don't know if i like this line because it sounds good
or
if it just targets the innermost walls of how my heart feels
I
just
...
want to run from love..