And so I've been really vulnerable the past few days..eyeing on people at any given place..i just can't help it..you know the feeling of a pre- teen who is just about to experience prom for the first time.. that's what I feel like right now! I feel like im a girl in bloom! Come to think of it! I haven't really felt this feeling before.. I guess I kinda skipped that phase of having crushes and all that when I was younger and that is probably because I had other priorities to tackle like confidence issues, insecurities, school and all that and so I missed out on that portion of my growing years. Well so far, I had always been on the lookout..and this I think is just normal. Although sometimes I think that my friends cannot relate to my giddiness I still feel ecstatic over it. Well, i have realized that I am now more selective towards things. Only choosing the best on which I hope will lead me to the person who is close to perfect as my match. Probably if I get over my shyness, I would make the process faster but I just don't know when that shyness will just shoo away. I get so intimidated eventhough I don't have to be..I guess it's just difficult for me to be myself..but that is a diferent story altogether. Eventually, I hope to meet the close to perfection guy that I dream. I dont know why I am actually wanting one but maybe it's because I do miss the feeling of having a companion, especially now that it's beginning to sink in me that my sister is dating someone plus all my friends are in a relationship. But, aside from that, I just want to try it out I supposed..because I am actually scared perhaps to be in a real one so a trial period is just fine..but is there even such a thing? Oh well, as of now, they are all merely eye candies.. I guess that's better...so there will be no expectations, and everything else is just plain taboo...
Currently feeling: tired from having too much thoughts still